"Dave Matthews used to live here..."
Far right: "My house is a weird person's vortex. I have the whole downstairs. The owner of Mudhouse used to live here, but moved out. So did Dave Matthews, who once held one of his concerts on the roof.
Center: "I live in the woods. People like you give me hope that I'm not destitute here in this place alone."
Far left: "You definitely don't suck!"